One Size Does NOT Fit All

Presumably many of you glanced at the citizen in photo above and are now expecting us to ridicule his considerable girth. But the F.F.P.D. has a strict policy forbidding discrimination on the basis of size, so you won't hear immature and inappropriate comments like "this guy's so fat that if you maximize the window, your monitor will fall through your desk" or "this guy's so fat they had to use the jaws of life to get him out of that outfit". No such talk in this department.

In fact, while his crimes are many, our big boned friend's fashion violations are not directly related to his size. They are listed below.

1. While there may be valid reasons for letting yourself go, there's no excuse for ill fitting clothes. Spandex comes in a multitude of sizes. The gap between the jersey and the bibs is criminal, and if the legs were any longer they'd be knickers. 
2. There's the issue of wearing a pro kit when one is not a pro cyclist. (I checked the Lampre roster, and there's no record of this guy ever racing for them). It's a fashion faux pas that's often committed, and never acceptable.
3. Lastly, as if to add insult to injury, there's the whole socks with sandals thing. That may fly if you're a grandpa walking along Miami Beach with a metal detector, but it is not acceptable active wear.

But aside from that, the outfit looks great on him.