Some Things Are Too Good to Pass Up

In 1968 Mickey Mantle announced that he would retire at the end of the season. During his last game in Detroit, in what was to be his last at-bat, with the Tigers leading 8-1, Denny McLain who won a whopping 31 games that year, decided to give the fans a thrill. He called his catcher out just a few feet from home plate and announced to him that he was going to let Mickey hit a home run. Of course Mantle overheard this, and though initially skeptical, came to realize that McLain really was going to throw one right over home plate. So The Mick took advantage of McLain's kindness and parked the pitch in the upper deck.

The moral of the story is that sometimes things are so easy that you can't  - and shouldn't - pass them up. For instance, if you're working the overnight shift for the F.F.P.D. and a conscientious citizen passes practically serves up a photo on a silver platter, you don't question it. You don't say "no thank you kind sir (or madam)" and go on your own patrol looking for joggers with fanny packs or other fashion criminals. You simply appreciate your good fortune and post it for all to see.

Remember citizens - we need your help. If you see something, send something. Someone pass the coffee.

Public Service Announcement

Here's a helpful little tidbit. If any of you youngsters out there have aspirations of one day becoming a seven time Tour de France winner, cancer survivor, founder and chairman of your own charitable foundation, and international celebrity, as well dating a succession of interchangeable blonde women all of whom looking disturbingly like your mother, you might want to avoid being photographed in an outfit that makes you look like first prize at the NAMBLA raffle.

This public service has been brought to you by the Fitness Fashion Police Department.

Like a Bag of Skittles Exploded in His Pants

Obviously there are several crimes being committed here, with improper use of a mankini as the most blatant offense. Additionally, there's the uncanny resemblance to this homemade bird costume sported by a six year old, though the Fitness Fashion DA's office is still debating what the proper charge is for such a crime.

Of course there are other violations on display as well, but addressing them would be like issuing a ticket to Charles Manson for an illegal lane change after you catch him with a bloody knife leaving the scene of the crime.